As parents and teachers, it’s natural to want to step in when we see a child struggling. We want to make things easier, offer the right answer, or guide them away from failure. But what if we’re unintentionally taking away one of the most powerful parts of the learning process?
The truth is: kids need to get things wrong. They need space to try, stumble, and figure it out on their own. It’s not only okay—it’s essential for deep, lasting learning.
Struggling Builds Stronger Brains
When children engage in problem-solving before receiving instruction, their brains are actively forming connections. Dr. Manu Kapur calls this process productive failure, where the act of exploring and making errors sets the stage for better understanding when the correct method is introduced later. His research shows that students who experience this type of learning perform better in the long term and retain information more deeply.
Why “Getting It Wrong” Helps Kids Get It Right
Here are just a few of the powerful benefits that come from allowing children to work through challenges:
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It builds resilience. When kids are allowed to fail and keep going, they develop grit—the determination to push through difficult tasks without giving up.
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It strengthens problem-solving skills. Figuring things out for themselves helps kids think critically and creatively.
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It improves memory and understanding. Struggling activates more areas of the brain, leading to stronger neural connections and better retention.
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It encourages a growth mindset. When children see that errors are a natural and expected part of learning, they stop fearing them and begin embracing challenges.
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It fosters independence. Kids gain confidence when they realize they don’t always need to rely on adults for the answers.
What This Looks Like in Action
Letting kids struggle doesn’t mean abandoning them. It means:
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Asking guiding questions instead of giving answers
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Praising effort and persistence rather than just results
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Allowing time for trial and error
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Encouraging reflection: “What did you try? What might you do differently next time?”
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Being okay with discomfort—learning isn’t always neat or easy
A Note to the Adults
It can be hard to watch our children or students experience frustration. But remember: your patience and trust in the process sends a powerful message. You’re showing them that learning is not about being perfect—it’s about being curious, brave, and willing to grow.
So next time they get it “wrong,” take a breath. Resist the urge to jump in. And remind yourself: this is where the magic happens.
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